The Price and the Value of What We Pursue

“You don’t need more change; you need more trust. Most people rebuild what was already working because they panic before progress appears.” — Iñaki de la Parra

I’ll keep this one straight and simple.

Sometimes in life we feel stuck.
We feel we are not moving forward.

I think part of that happens because we live in too many timelines at once: a bit in the past, a bit in the future and just enough in the present to survive the day.

We get lost in time.

Every time I have pursued a long-term goal: my school degrees, my first business, my first million, my first world championship, raising a family, losing weight… the same pattern shows up.

When I try to do something entirely “by myself,” without bringing perspective into the process, I eventually lose clarity.

That deviation happens slowly, almost without noticing, until I’m far from myself.

Focusing only on one thing blinds me to how everything in my life is connected, and when that happens, my identity starts to fracture.

I’ve learned that when I overdevelop one part of myself and neglect the rest, I stop growing as a whole.

I learned this early in life thanks to 2 things from a young age:

1. Being exposed to sports

2. Building the family business

Both taught me a hard truth:

If you try to do everything alone, it never really works.
You might still reach the goal: but at what cost?

You can arrive where you wanted, even win, but the pursuit without that external aura: without perspective, support or feedback, usually costs too much.

1. Emotions

2. Health

3. Relationships

4. Money

There is a cost to everything.

That’s why is key to knowing the price you’re paying and the value you’re getting.

When I advise athletes, founders, or executives, I always explain the difference between price and value.

Because success has both.
A purchase has both.
And so does every choice you make.

The mistake is thinking that because you can pay the price, you should.

The real focus should always be on value, on what you truly gain, learn, or become in the process.

Paying the price is easy when you’re driven.
But understanding the value, that’s where growth happens.

📸 - She’s the best value I’ve ever received in my life.

You Can’t Do It Alone

You can grind your way through almost anything for a while, I’ve done it many times.
But what I’ve learned is that solo effort has limits.

No matter how strong, disciplined, or experienced you are, your view is still limited to your own lens.

We all have blind spots: areas we can’t see clearly because we’re too close to them.

That’s why we need teachers, coaches, advisors and mentors.

Each plays a different but complementary role in our development:

• A teacher delivers frameworks, tools, and models that save you from learning everything the hard way. They equip you to think, learn, and act more effectively.

• A coach helps you identify where your energy leaks and supports you in plugging them. They bring structure, accountability, and focus to your performance.

• An advisor challenges your assumptions and provides specific, experience-based recommendations to help you navigate complex decisions.

• A mentor points out what you’re avoiding and shares their experience and lessons over time. They guide who you’re becoming, not just what you’re doing.

Sometimes, all 4 roles can exist in one person, the difference is knowing which hat they’re wearing and when.

Confusion comes when either side forgets what role is being played.
That’s when expectations misalign and the process starts to break down.

In sports, business and life, the people who grow the most are not the ones who know it all, they’re the ones who stay open to learning, or as I like to say, coachable.

Being open to learn doesn’t make you weak; it keeps you evolving.

The goal isn’t independence, it’s interdependence or your ability to stay self-driven while being open enough to receive, question and adapt.

That’s how you keep your direction, your ego and your growth sustainable.

When Things Don’t Go as Planned

There’s something else I’ve learned, and it took me years to admit it.

When things didn’t go the way I wanted, and someone close to me, or even someone I had hired, gave feedback or advice, my first instinct was to reject it.

Even the ones I was paying. Crazy, right?

Instead I’d look for a scapegoat. I’d “crucify” the messenger: the partner, the advisor, the coach, the friend…

I use that word intentionally.

It comes from the idea of mimetic desire, how we humans don’t just want things, we want what others want. A concept clearly explained by Luke Burgis in his book Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire.

We mirror the desires, success, lifestyle, money, status, methods, trainings, performance, outcomes or approval of others, often without realizing it.

And when our reality doesn’t match that image, frustration builds.
We start comparing.
We look for explanations.
And when the pressure becomes too much, we need someone to blame: a scapegoat.

It’s an old story, as old as humanity itself. You can see this also through the lenses of history or religion.

When you or I feel lost, we look for someone to carry our guilt.

Someone to “purify” the system by taking responsibility for the discomfort we don’t want to face.

That’s what crucifying someone really means: outsourcing our pain to another person so we can feel clean again.

And high performers, ironically, are masters at this.

I’ve crucified others, and I’ve been sacrificed myself, especially in my professional work as a coach, advisor and for some mentor.

What I’ve learned is that this “crucifixion” rarely happens because of performance itself. It usually comes from deeper patterns:

1. Not staying in the process: wanting results faster than the time originally planned and committed to.

2. Looking too much at what others do: trying to mimic their path in hopes of getting similar results as them.

3. Getting overly emotional: when life feels unstable in other areas, change becomes a way to regain control, even when it’s not needed.

4. Not communicating misalignments clearly while they’re happening: waiting too long to speak up until frustration replaces dialogue.

5. Not understanding the difference between price and value: focusing on what something costs instead of what it’s truly worth.

But sometimes, we go even further: we crucify ourselves.

We punish ourselves for falling short, for slowing down, for not being who we “should” be.

We take the same blame we once placed on others and turn it inward, cutting ourselves with: perfection, guilt or endless self-critique.

And that’s when awareness matters most.

Because self-crucifixion builds paralysis.
It keeps us trapped between who we were and who we’re afraid to become.

Whether we crucify others or ourselves, it comes from the same place, a lack of alignment and trust.

When we lose perspective, we stop seeing the process for what it is: a path, not a verdict.

Awareness brings you back.
It reminds you that feedback isn’t an attack, setbacks aren’t punishment, and change isn’t always the answer.

Sometimes the real work isn’t about doing more or changing, it’s about staying still long enough to understand what’s really happening, all with a different awareness.

I wrote about this in Should You Change the Plan or Stay the Course?, but in a nutshell: 80% of the time, staying the path is the real power move, as long as your plan, path, and north star are still the right ones.

The Tension Between Good and Bad

Over time, I’ve learned that good and bad are not separate.
They exist in tension, one defines the other.

Every pursuit has both.

• The good gives us: drive, vision and direction.

• The bad gives us: contrast, humility and perspective.

The problem comes when we chase what’s not truly ours, we pay the wrong price for the wrong value.

We spend years buying into someone else’s dream, only to realize it was never meant for us.

Or we spend years following a process, and suddenly things don’t go as expected.
Do we change the plan or stick to the path?

When making these decisions, you can’t go fully emotional, or purely logical either. You need to slow down and look at:

1. Your progress: what’s truly moving forward.

2. Your setbacks: what keeps repeating.

3. Your objective growth: the data behind your feelings.

4. Your emotional alignment: how it actually feels to keep going.

Then make the decision consciously, not reactively.

The Reflection That Brings You Back

So, when things don’t go as planned, when I feel resistance or frustration, I try to pause and ask myself:

1. Is this frustration coming from what I want, or from what I think I should want?

2. Am I rejecting this feedback because it’s false, or because it’s too true?

3. And if I’m angry, who am I trying to crucify instead of facing myself?

Because at the end of the day it is all about staying honest when it hurts.

There’s no growth without friction, no clarity without confusion, and no true success without paying the right price for the right value.

So How to Apply This?

Here is a framework I put together recently for a client I had worked for the last 5 years and is about to make an important change. You can also start using today:

1. Run a Price–Value Audit

Every goal has both.

Ask yourself:

• What’s the price I’m paying: time, stress, relationships, sleep, energy and money?

• What’s the value I’m getting: growth, joy, mastery, wellbeing, freedom, learning?

If the price is constant but the value is fading, it’s time to adjust.

2. Invite External Perspective

Pick 2-3 trusted voices: a coach, a mentor, an advisor, a partner and actually listen.
You don’t have to agree, but you do need to hear them.

Remember: feedback is not criticism; it’s data.

3. Watch for Mimetic Traps

Anytime you want something, pause and ask:

• Do I really want this, or do I want it because someone else does?

Be brutally honest. Most burnout starts when we chase borrowed goals.

4. Identify Crucifixion

Who do you blame when things go wrong?

• Write down the last 3 times you got frustrated: what or who did you target?

That pattern reveals something important for you.

5. Integrate Good and Bad

Stop labeling outcomes as “good” or “bad.”

• Ask instead: What is this teaching me?

Growth requires both, the tension is where mastery lives.

6. Re-center

Once a month, take time to reflect:

• Am I moving toward my own vision or someone else’s?

• Is the process still aligned with what I value?

• What I am grateful for right now?

This “small check-ups” keeps you grounded, especially when the noise gets loud.

Less Control, More Confidence

I’ve done plenty of stupid things in my younger years.

The difference now is that I try to do a little less stupidity and stay a bit more open to other perspectives.

My work as a teacher, coach, advisor, and sometimes mentor demands that.

But what’s truly shaped this mindset is being a husband and a father. Nothing keeps me more honest than the people who see me at my best and worst every single day.

📸 They’re the other half of my treasure (aka “value”). The price has been high, but absolutely worth it.

Age helps too. It humbles you just enough to listen before reacting, and to trust the process a little more.

So here’s what I remind myself, and what I’ll remind you too:

• Awareness keeps you from paying the wrong price.

• Perspective helps you see the real value.

• Humility saves you from crucifying yourself or the people trying to help you.

Have a great weekend 🤙🚀